#6 “I can start it anytime,’ they say

This is another worn out dialogue we listen, and we repeat, many a time. “It’s simple man. I know I can start it anytime.” So why are you not starting it. Why aren’t you boarding the journey, if that was so simple? Let that “simple” thing take you to accomplishment.

That means either the task is not simple or something is impeding you from starting it. What is that thing?

Most of the time it’s the “fear of failure.”

We may give it different names, different reasons. Such as  I am too busy to think of it, I am tired after day-long work at office, I want some peaceful moments to think of it, I am thinking to start from next year etcetera. 

The logical reasons to procrastinate your dream-journey are the most illogical thing you can do to your life.

Life is an ever changing, ever moving phenomenon. It will not wait for you to think, prepare and start. It would have been easy if you could stop time and start all over again. But, we know that’s impossible. So, the best way is to catch the first bus, rather than waiting for the last one.

Starting at “Anytime” means “Not staring at all,” I would say.

I had a friend who was a good painter. He could capture the beauty of anything, anyone,  with a simple stroke of brush. Blessed with ample amount of imagination he was a born winner. However, he always had the same answer, in fact same excuse whenever I asked him about turning his passion to profession. “I will of course. I will start. I know I can start it anytime.”

Years went by without waiting for him to start. Each year adding to his responsibilities, liabilities. The death of his father put him into a deadlock. There was no way other than turning a painter, of course, painting billboards at junctions. Where the creativity would have taken him, had he commenced the journey in time.

What he did to himself? What he did to the world? The world would have been more beautiful with such blessed people’s creativity. The world is craving for such rare, unparalleled, creativity.

If you look around, read newspapers, you will find that the world is going through a tough phase. Violence around is increasing rapidly. People with beautiful heart are rarely seen. It is those people with creativity and dreams, who make the world a wonderful place to live. 

Aren’t you deceiving the society, in that case?

#5 “I am not that lucky,” they say

Luck favors those who work hard, those who are determined. We have heard this phrase numerous times. We knew it. We understand it.

Yet, when our turn comes, we repeat the same old dialogue. I am not lucky. 

Life is not happening in a Casino, to achieve something by chance, by luck. You want something from heart means that the thing is meant for you. You only have to believe and work towards it. There is no space for luck, when you are working hard to make that happen.

Not convinced yet! I will tell you an incident that had happened with me.

I had the dream of turning a writer since childhood. The dream grew with my age. And in 2001, I wrote first few chapters of my, to be, book. The story was located in Russia. I had never been to Russia even in my dreams. The scenery I portrayed in the story were from the knowledge I had about the country acquired through reading.Then, major part was purely imagined.

However, I couldn’t continue writing due to certain reasons. The novel remained untouched in the faded pages of my diary. Though, the eager want to write a book located in Russia remained young inside me. 

 

It was exactly after nine years, in 2010, I got an opportunity to go to Russia for some official purpose. That too for three years! It was a thing I had never expected. In fact, some other persons were actually selected for the deputation. But, my name clicked at the last moment due to certain reasons (again!!).

There in Russia I wrote my first (The Ribbon Trap) and second book (which is being edited presently). The surprising fact is that Russia is the location for the second book. And remember the story for the book had begun way back in 2001!

Therefore remember, don’t go behind luck. Don’t sit idle thinking that you are unlucky. Forget everything and embark on your mission. Put on hard work, put your heart into it. Give life to the dream. 

And your dream will give back a life worth living.

#4. “I Will start from tomorrow,” they say

“How are the things now?”

“No change at all. Everything is as it was.”

“You had some plans, what about those?”

“Yes, I am thinking to start it from tomorrow.”

This is one of the most common conversations. People “think” about starting something from “tomorrow.” And tomorrow never comes. The basic thing that we forget is yesterday’s tomorrow is today. Today is the only day. Yesterday is a myth, so is tomorrow. Both things exist only in our brain. Nothing tangible about both the days.  

You are planning your life, providing asylum to your aspirations, on an intangible thing. Tomorrow. “If tomorrow comes!”

The sentence, rather statement, “I will start from tomorrow” is an excuse. An excuse from yourself to yourself. It’s a veil to conceal the fact that you are lazy to start it now. It’s a stick, on which you lean on to avoid further explanations to others, to self. 

Was that you “actually” wanted? 
No.

You “actually” wanted to do something that can change your life. You thought of doing something different that would make everyone to look at you in awe. If that was the case, why are you giving the excuse of tomorrow? 

The reason is simple. You lack the courage to take the first step, which in turn is causing you to feel lazy. 

I will tell you an incident that had happened with me during my training days. 

We had to pass swimming test as part of curriculum. The test included a five-meter deep water jump. Although I was a good swimmer, I was doubtful about the deep water jump. In fact, watching others’ jump also made me sick. One day, gathering all the courage, I climbed the steps to the diving board. 

It was okay until I reached the edge of the board. Looking down at the DEEP blue water, thinking the consequences if I lose breathe, my heart fail, or my leg cramps a bolt passed through me. My legs turned weak, darkness gushed into my brain. Unable to stand there anymore, I sat down and crawled (literally) back to the steps. I was not bold enough to walk afraid of falling through the sides. 

I did the same thing two more times before the swimming instructor saw my struggle. He came to me. I was one among the many students in the same condition. He had a considerate smile. I also “tried” to smile. However, I could feel the fakeness in that. He took a glance at the water before he spoke. 

“You were in water for nine long months. 60% of your body and 71% of earth is water.” He winked smiling. “Still, you are afraid of water!”

I didn’t respond. Scientific explanations can neither embolden me nor reduce my fear. He might have understood my thoughts. He had a broad smile before he continued. 

“NOW, is the right time to do anything. Procrastination will not take you anywhere. In fact, situation will not be the same tomorrow. It can only worsen with each lost day. Just a small step and you will overcome your fears.”

I was not convinced much yet. I waited expectantly. 

“Once you take that step you will understand.” He stared into my eyes as if trying to inject confidence. “You will understand that this fear was so small that wasting your energy and peace on it was meaningless. Come on. Stop your brain for a moment. Think with your heart and win.”

“Are you sure nothing will happen?”

“I am here to save you if anything happens. Believe me, you will face challenges in life, lot bigger than this one, at every corner. And…” He put a dramatic pause, similar to those we find in movies. “And you will find a savior every time.”

It will be incorrect if I say that I had overcome my fears, when I was reaching closer to the tip of the diving board. But I felt better. I had a savior. Every life situation emboldens your heart. Ultimately, the heart playing the role of your savior. 

Forget brain. It’s logical and hence scared. After all, not everything that happens is logical. I stood staring down at the deep blue water on reaching the edge of the board. A few steps might have elapsed before I took that small step. Small but decisive one. And my world changed then on.

Next time I was ready for ten-meter jump. 

Yes, a step forward can change your world, your life. 

#3. “So sad that you failed,” they say

“What’s your grade?” They will ask, even though they know that you failed. You, your parents, are ashamed to talk about your education with anyone anymore. You had bunked classes, didn’t think of studying at any point of time, and enjoyed every bit of your life with friends. You very well knew that you will fail. Still, the failure hurts you.  

That’s the sad reality. No one likes to fail. No one likes failures. So, what should you do?

    (a)     Hide yourself from the society.

    (b)    Run away from your home

    (c)     Appear broken.

Answer is “None of the above”

Failure is not a full stop in life. It can never be, if you don’t allow it to be. It was just an “unexpectedly expected” turn. A change in flow. The above-mentioned options will change it into a full stop. 

You are adding more power to failure, when you decide to break yourself. Failure starts believing that “I am not a mere word, I can destroy lives. How powerful I am.” 

That’s when you, actually, start failing in life. That’s when you stop living. That’s when you lose yourself.

Your failure in a subject or subjects doesn’t prove that you are incapable of doing anything. But the simple, amply evident, fact is that you are not interested in those subjects. Your disinterest in some subjects should not be converted into disinterest towards whole life. 

You can make your life interesting, without any external support. The key for your happiness is within you, your heart. 

Only that, you need to have a helicopter-view of the things. Nothing much would be visible ahead if you keep yourself at the same position. Since the cloud of failure would obstruct your view ahead.

Another beautiful twist may be awaiting you at the next turn. And you are going to miss that golden opportunity if you stop walking. 

Failure is not failure, unless you make it so. It’s just a change in flow. A change, that’s it. 

Then, who doesn’t want a change.

#2. “Learn something from him,” they say (Let’s talk about Sharmaji ka beta)

There he is, the famous  “ Sharmaji ka beta”. Why don’t you learn something from him? How hardworking he is. Always topper in class. He's going to make it to IIT. He doesn’t have stupid friends as you have. Where were you wandering like a beggar? See him, he never goes out without his parents permission. 

How good he is…

Well behaved…

Well mannered…

Well dressed…

For decades, Sharmaji’s son is giving sleepless nights to all the other sons around the world. Sharmaji would be replaced with Iyer, Bhattacharya, Patel, John etcetera according to the location. Names or surnames doesn't matter, parents need only an example. That’s it.

Everyone knows that it is wrong to compare your child with somebody else. Seldom has it had positive effect on the child. Still, knowingly or unknowingly, it continues to happen. Even the same parents who are comparing you with Sharmaji’s son had to face this. 

They were also irritated when they were compared with Sharma, Verma or Sudama’s son. But they changed with time. Time has erased that feeling, the itchy prickling, from their memory. Therefore, they cannot understand how it feels anymore. 

The bottom line is “neither you can replace your parents nor are they going to change.”

Then…?

The easiest (or toughest?) way to tackle it is to change your inner-self. Easy, because you can do it without any external support. Tough because you cannot expect an external help. You have to get into the root and correct yourself.  

You try to become like him. Do the things as he does. Try to perform better than him. Behave the way he does. And your parents would be happy.

But, is that right?

No.

Is that the way?

No.

Can you be like him ever?

Of course, not.

Each person has his own identity, his own way of dealing with things. The way two persons fingerprints are not same, no two persons can be same. 

Identify your field of perfection. Identify your inner calling. Believe in it. Go ahead. Dream of becoming a master in it. 

Your achievements would be enough to silence your critiques. Be it your parents or siblings. Show them that if I am weak in that I am strong in this. Every other betas would vanish in the glint of your success.  

By the way, AR Rahman can never be Leonardo DiCaprio. Neither vice versa.