#4. “I Will start from tomorrow,” they say

“How are the things now?”

“No change at all. Everything is as it was.”

“You had some plans, what about those?”

“Yes, I am thinking to start it from tomorrow.”

This is one of the most common conversations. People “think” about starting something from “tomorrow.” And tomorrow never comes. The basic thing that we forget is yesterday’s tomorrow is today. Today is the only day. Yesterday is a myth, so is tomorrow. Both things exist only in our brain. Nothing tangible about both the days.  

You are planning your life, providing asylum to your aspirations, on an intangible thing. Tomorrow. “If tomorrow comes!”

The sentence, rather statement, “I will start from tomorrow” is an excuse. An excuse from yourself to yourself. It’s a veil to conceal the fact that you are lazy to start it now. It’s a stick, on which you lean on to avoid further explanations to others, to self. 

Was that you “actually” wanted? 
No.

You “actually” wanted to do something that can change your life. You thought of doing something different that would make everyone to look at you in awe. If that was the case, why are you giving the excuse of tomorrow? 

The reason is simple. You lack the courage to take the first step, which in turn is causing you to feel lazy. 

I will tell you an incident that had happened with me during my training days. 

We had to pass swimming test as part of curriculum. The test included a five-meter deep water jump. Although I was a good swimmer, I was doubtful about the deep water jump. In fact, watching others’ jump also made me sick. One day, gathering all the courage, I climbed the steps to the diving board. 

It was okay until I reached the edge of the board. Looking down at the DEEP blue water, thinking the consequences if I lose breathe, my heart fail, or my leg cramps a bolt passed through me. My legs turned weak, darkness gushed into my brain. Unable to stand there anymore, I sat down and crawled (literally) back to the steps. I was not bold enough to walk afraid of falling through the sides. 

I did the same thing two more times before the swimming instructor saw my struggle. He came to me. I was one among the many students in the same condition. He had a considerate smile. I also “tried” to smile. However, I could feel the fakeness in that. He took a glance at the water before he spoke. 

“You were in water for nine long months. 60% of your body and 71% of earth is water.” He winked smiling. “Still, you are afraid of water!”

I didn’t respond. Scientific explanations can neither embolden me nor reduce my fear. He might have understood my thoughts. He had a broad smile before he continued. 

“NOW, is the right time to do anything. Procrastination will not take you anywhere. In fact, situation will not be the same tomorrow. It can only worsen with each lost day. Just a small step and you will overcome your fears.”

I was not convinced much yet. I waited expectantly. 

“Once you take that step you will understand.” He stared into my eyes as if trying to inject confidence. “You will understand that this fear was so small that wasting your energy and peace on it was meaningless. Come on. Stop your brain for a moment. Think with your heart and win.”

“Are you sure nothing will happen?”

“I am here to save you if anything happens. Believe me, you will face challenges in life, lot bigger than this one, at every corner. And…” He put a dramatic pause, similar to those we find in movies. “And you will find a savior every time.”

It will be incorrect if I say that I had overcome my fears, when I was reaching closer to the tip of the diving board. But I felt better. I had a savior. Every life situation emboldens your heart. Ultimately, the heart playing the role of your savior. 

Forget brain. It’s logical and hence scared. After all, not everything that happens is logical. I stood staring down at the deep blue water on reaching the edge of the board. A few steps might have elapsed before I took that small step. Small but decisive one. And my world changed then on.

Next time I was ready for ten-meter jump. 

Yes, a step forward can change your world, your life. 

#3. “So sad that you failed,” they say

“What’s your grade?” They will ask, even though they know that you failed. You, your parents, are ashamed to talk about your education with anyone anymore. You had bunked classes, didn’t think of studying at any point of time, and enjoyed every bit of your life with friends. You very well knew that you will fail. Still, the failure hurts you.  

That’s the sad reality. No one likes to fail. No one likes failures. So, what should you do?

    (a)     Hide yourself from the society.

    (b)    Run away from your home

    (c)     Appear broken.

Answer is “None of the above”

Failure is not a full stop in life. It can never be, if you don’t allow it to be. It was just an “unexpectedly expected” turn. A change in flow. The above-mentioned options will change it into a full stop. 

You are adding more power to failure, when you decide to break yourself. Failure starts believing that “I am not a mere word, I can destroy lives. How powerful I am.” 

That’s when you, actually, start failing in life. That’s when you stop living. That’s when you lose yourself.

Your failure in a subject or subjects doesn’t prove that you are incapable of doing anything. But the simple, amply evident, fact is that you are not interested in those subjects. Your disinterest in some subjects should not be converted into disinterest towards whole life. 

You can make your life interesting, without any external support. The key for your happiness is within you, your heart. 

Only that, you need to have a helicopter-view of the things. Nothing much would be visible ahead if you keep yourself at the same position. Since the cloud of failure would obstruct your view ahead.

Another beautiful twist may be awaiting you at the next turn. And you are going to miss that golden opportunity if you stop walking. 

Failure is not failure, unless you make it so. It’s just a change in flow. A change, that’s it. 

Then, who doesn’t want a change.

#2. “Learn something from him,” they say (Let’s talk about Sharmaji ka beta)

There he is, the famous  “ Sharmaji ka beta”. Why don’t you learn something from him? How hardworking he is. Always topper in class. He's going to make it to IIT. He doesn’t have stupid friends as you have. Where were you wandering like a beggar? See him, he never goes out without his parents permission. 

How good he is…

Well behaved…

Well mannered…

Well dressed…

For decades, Sharmaji’s son is giving sleepless nights to all the other sons around the world. Sharmaji would be replaced with Iyer, Bhattacharya, Patel, John etcetera according to the location. Names or surnames doesn't matter, parents need only an example. That’s it.

Everyone knows that it is wrong to compare your child with somebody else. Seldom has it had positive effect on the child. Still, knowingly or unknowingly, it continues to happen. Even the same parents who are comparing you with Sharmaji’s son had to face this. 

They were also irritated when they were compared with Sharma, Verma or Sudama’s son. But they changed with time. Time has erased that feeling, the itchy prickling, from their memory. Therefore, they cannot understand how it feels anymore. 

The bottom line is “neither you can replace your parents nor are they going to change.”

Then…?

The easiest (or toughest?) way to tackle it is to change your inner-self. Easy, because you can do it without any external support. Tough because you cannot expect an external help. You have to get into the root and correct yourself.  

You try to become like him. Do the things as he does. Try to perform better than him. Behave the way he does. And your parents would be happy.

But, is that right?

No.

Is that the way?

No.

Can you be like him ever?

Of course, not.

Each person has his own identity, his own way of dealing with things. The way two persons fingerprints are not same, no two persons can be same. 

Identify your field of perfection. Identify your inner calling. Believe in it. Go ahead. Dream of becoming a master in it. 

Your achievements would be enough to silence your critiques. Be it your parents or siblings. Show them that if I am weak in that I am strong in this. Every other betas would vanish in the glint of your success.  

By the way, AR Rahman can never be Leonardo DiCaprio. Neither vice versa.

#1. “You cannot do that," they say

Here I am again, after a short period of hibernation. I was busy with work, busy with life. Though I could take out some time and could explore one of the best states in India, Goa.

What else!

It was during one of my exploration trip that I came across a thought. A sentence we often hear. A tight slap we have received many a time. A shock that was so powerful that who could not shrug it off lived a mere, MERE, low, LOW, life. 

That’s when the title, and the series, born. The “They Say” series.

I will be talking about those taunts we listen, those excuses we make ourselves, the consolations we receive from our near and dear, when we fail, when we don’t make it to the expected level. In between those taunts, excuses and consolations we miss the most important thing.

Our LIFE.

Our action, and reaction, to the turns we face decide the course of our life. The most important part is to hold on yourself, your confidence. 

“You cannot do it,’ they say. “They” can be your friends, competitors, jealousy colleagues, or jobless neighbours. Except for your friends, everyone else is deriving sadistic pleasure from the sentence.

You will realize one thing if you read the sentence again. It is one word that is changing the meaning of the whole sentence. That one, that silly one, changes the sentence from positive to negative. I am saying about the word “not”. The three-letter word strategically placed at the centre of the sentence. That word ensures that the receiver would think about his efficiency, his capability, his intelligence once again. Many turn back from their dream at this point. 

A simple sentence from another person, who has never known you completely, decides your fate. What a pity!

Is it possible to turn the sentence positive? To your benefit. Of course, you can.

As I had said in the beginning, the “strategic positioning” of the word NOT is the crux of all the negativity about the sentence. Therefore, whenever anyone tells you “you cannot do it” you just change the position of the word NOT. Place it at the beginning. Let the word be happy for the priority it’s getting. 

You change the sentence to “NO you can do it” inwardly. 

Repeat it once. Repeat it again. Again. Again. Until it becomes a part of your breath. Let the sentence strengthen you, your aim in life. 

Who can defeat a strong heart?

What's your (LOVE) Story?

“Love is blind.” A common usage we have been hearing since childhood. Love is a thing which we have experienced at some point in our life. 

Some had expressed their love, married their dream-girl and live happily thereafter.

Some were afraid of expressing it for the fear of rejection. They wanted to reveal it to her/ him, but never could. The love lived, and died, inside their heart. Leaving a never dying pain inside them.

Some revealed their love. Enjoyed the moments of togetherness, but couldn’t tie the knot. The society, religion, money (all of them or any one), destroying their dreams.

What’s your story?

Read my story here and tell me whether our story is similar to mine.

Waiting for your comments.